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December, 2006
 
I'm Just Happy to be Nominated
The One Line I Never Thought I'd Say by ICX Watch any awards show, or preshow, and you'll hear it over and over: "I'm just happy to be nominated." Every time I see one of those interviews, I just want to hurl. Actually, I alternate between wanting to hurl and just rolling my eyes in disgust. Who really believes that garbage? Not me. Well, maybe I believe it now. Something amazing happened to me about a month ago. I found out that my partner and I were nominated for Radio and Records Personality of the Year. Never in a million years did I see that coming. I actually screamed out loud in my office. My co-workers came running, sure that some horrible thing—maybe a giant centipede—had invaded my desktop. No, I had just gotten the e-mail that I had dreamed of getting my entire radio career but never believed I would actually get. We had been nominated. I guess I always thought a nomination like that would come on a great white horse, with a big gorgeous blond guy named Sven handing me the announcement on a silver platter. No, just an e-mail. I was still on my shocked high the next morning at work when I found out that we were nominated for three more local awards here in Nashville. I was beyond shocked. All I could manage to say was, "I'm just so blessed to be nominated." I think I made myself hurl. Just the thought of those words coming out of my mouth is still enough to put me into cold sweats. But I really meant them. That's the craziest part of it all. My mouth got to be put to where my words were. We won two awards. The first was unreal. As I found myself walking to the stage as my aircheck boomed loud overhead, all I could think of was, I am so blessed. I recalled a time two years ago when a new program director was quizzing the staff on where they saw themselves in the future. Everyone dutifully answered "HERE!" I said, "Mornings in Nashville." After all, my mama has always taught me to go big or go home. All I could think of was that meeting. And as I looked out into the darkness, trying to find my coworkers, all I could muster was, "I was truly honored just to be nominated." Shoot me now. When our names were called for the second award, I lost it. All I could say was, "How is this possible?" I felt like Sally Field and her memorable "You like me; you really like me." Sure, we were all charmed by her unassuming manner, but secretly everyone was thinking, Please, she KNOWS we like her. Now I'm convinced that maybe Sally wasn't really so sure! Why is it that awards do this to us? Is it the fact that after all the layoffs and rejection, we are so battered and beaten up in our fragile psyche that we just cannot imagine how anyone can possibly validate what we do? I never thought I suffered from low self-esteem before. Funny and strangely, how ironic it is that an award given by people I truly look up to and admire can make me feel so grossly inadequate. Maybe that's the great equalizer. When we lose, we are able to make excuses as to why. Anything from "It was rigged" to "It's just not our year." Any excuse to make ourselves feel better will work. We have our big R&R Awards coming up. We're up against some unbelievable talent—folks I have the utmost respect for. In the meantime, I'm practicing my "Gracious Loser Golf Clap" and preparing to utter those bile-triggering words: "I'm just so happy and blessed to be nominated." Bring the airsickness bag. I'm going to need it. |